Chapter 11: Do You Have Someone You Long For?
The 6th prince’s favor didn’t end with words.
On the first day, he simply expressed his thanks and left. The next day, however, he sent an eunuch to Wolmu-gung with an actual invitation.
“Greetings to Master Yo Yo-hwa. His Highness, the 6th prince, wishes to see you at Seonghwan-gung nine days from now, at the start of the Hour of Yu.”
“How could this be….”
I accepted the invitation with a bewildered expression and looked up at the eunuch, who, as if boasting about a grand occasion, added more news.
“The 2nd prince will also be attending, Master Yo Yo-hwa. Because of the hunting competition, both princes hold you in very high regard. Congratulations.”
Although I knew the eunuch was blameless, the way he smiled brightly while delivering troubling news irritated me, making it hard to maintain my composure.
“Thank you.”
I forced a smile as I gave my thanks. The eunuch bowed and hurriedly disappeared.
This thin piece of paper felt as heavy as a thousand pounds. I sighed and placed the invitation in my robes.
‘If my disciple learns that things are turning out well for me, which never happened in the past, he’ll surely be suspicious.’
Even though I received the favor of the two princes, my heart felt suffocated. After all, I already knew who the final victor would be.
“You must be delighted to have gained the trust of both elder brothers.”
Startled by the voice behind me, I quickly turned around. My disciple, who had appeared without a sound, was leaning against the doorframe with a smile.
I bowed slightly as a greeting and tried to change the subject as naturally as possible.
“Come inside quickly. It’s almost time for the lesson.”
“I came out because the lesson is about to start, but you hadn’t arrived, Master.”
“It was my mistake. I am sorry.”
“What could you do? When my brother sends an eunuch with an invitation, it’s not something Master could refuse.”
Though he spoke as if he understood, I remained uneasy and hurried into the study to take my seat at my desk.
As I opened the book we had been studying until the day before, my disciple walked leisurely to his seat, unlike me, and asked,
“Are you free tomorrow night?”
I was so surprised that I nearly tore the page I was turning.
I looked up at him with wide eyes. He smiled with a serene expression and continued.
“I have yet to share a proper meal with Master. Before my brothers host you, I would like to do so first. Are you not my teacher?”
Could it be that he wants to kill me in advance, fearing I might side with the 2nd or 6th prince?
I couldn’t interpret his proposal in any other way and hesitated to answer. I barely managed to force a smile and refuse.
“I’m afraid I have a prior engagement, Your Highness.”
“Then we shall meet tonight. Flowers wither quickly, so there’s no time to delay.”
“Flowers?”
“Winter chrysanthemums have bloomed in the rear garden. Let’s drink while enjoying the flower viewing.”
In my previous life, my disciple never invited me for such hospitality until after he revealed his ambitions.
After he showed his true intentions, he often called me for discussions, albeit more in secret and usually with others present. Even when we met alone, it was never under the guise of a formal invitation or hospitality.
But now, he was suggesting a nighttime flower viewing out of nowhere. A cold sweat ran down my spine.
Is he planning to kill me without hesitation, not caring whether I might suspect anything? It would be the safest and simplest way, after all.
No matter how much I thought, I couldn’t see his intentions in a positive light.
In any case… if he’s making such a move, I must struggle with all my might.
“May I bring a friend with me, Your Highness?”
“I don’t wish for anyone else to join us for a flower viewing between teacher and disciple.”
What is this? Aren’t we strangers, too?
My expression must have faltered for a moment, as he smirked and teasingly asked,
“Do you not wish to go flower viewing with me?”
Obviously not.
“I have a prior engagement.”
“You said you had a prior engagement for tomorrow night as well. Do you have engagements every night, Master?”
I wanted to say yes and cancel all plans. But if I did, he would probably suggest meeting during the day.
Reluctantly realizing that I might have to meet him at least once, I carefully considered my words before replying.
“I do have a prior engagement, but since Your Highness has already conceded once, I cannot refuse again. I will inform the person I have plans with that I must meet Your Highness.”
By hinting that I would let others know about our meeting, I hoped he wouldn’t feel free to kill me that night.
If my disciple was planning to follow his previous path, this should be enough to prevent him from killing me for now. After all, he didn’t have much power at this stage.
He laughed lightly, as if it didn’t matter to him.
“Very well.”
***
“Linhua. I need you to do me a favor.”
As soon as I returned home, I sought out my younger sister, Linhua.
She had been performing her odd talent of embroidering while swinging on a swing but abandoned her work and stood up as soon as she saw me.
“A favor? Forget it! Go away!”
Our parents say Linhua is a miracle sent from the heavens. But in my opinion, she’s more like a wild colt thrown out of the sky. Why does she get annoyed just by me speaking?
“I have to go to the palace tonight. The 13th prince summoned me.”
“Are you boasting?!”
“If I don’t return the next day, tell Seon-an about this.”
At the mention of Seon-an, peace instantly spread over Linhua’s face.
That was exactly why I told Linhua, despite our strained relationship. If I made such a request to our parents, they would be alarmed and overreact. They would ask if I had problems with the 13th prince, what was going on at the palace, why I was making such a request, and so on.
But Linhua wouldn’t do that. She didn’t worry about me as much as our parents did, so she wouldn’t press for details. And since she was always eager for any reason to see Seon-an, if I didn’t return home, she would rush to meet him at dawn.
I didn’t like having to rely on Linhua’s help, but for a request like this, she was the most suitable.
“Why are you making such a request all of a sudden? Did you fight with His Highness? If it’s dangerous, can’t you just not go?”
“Why pretend to care? Just finish that worm embroidery. Although, I’m not sure you can embroider properly with hooves.”
“It’s a dragon! Get lost!”
***
I wished time would pass more slowly, but no such miracle occurred.
The dark clouds crept in and soon covered the entire sky, hiding the sun.
I dressed in soft, light green clothes to appear as gentle and harmless as possible. I wasn’t sure if it would work, though.
“His Highness must really like you.”
My mother said this with a pleased smile as she watched me leave the room, but I couldn’t bring myself to smile back.
“I hope so, Mother. His Highness should be completely enchanted by me.”
I muttered gloomily and adjusted my attire one last time.
Then I noticed my mother staring at me with a puzzled expression.
‘Oops. Did she misunderstand?’
“Yo-hwa. Do you perhaps have feelings for His Highness…?”
“That’s not it! Absolutely not!”
Mother knew I was a woman. How could she not? Because of that, she would always look at me that way whenever I complimented a handsome man.
She felt sorry for me. I couldn’t marry a man I liked because I had to live disguised as a man for the sake of our family.
“Yo-hwa. Just in case—”
“Oh, it’s really not like that.”
The person I like is definitely not the 13th prince. If anything, I dislike him… I find him frightening.
The one I truly care about is someone else, but for the very reason Mother worries about, I had given up on that person in my past life.
In this life, I had resolved never to approach him again.
Damn it. Just thinking about it makes me feel empty. As if meeting the 13th prince wasn’t enough to weigh down my heart.
I quickly smiled and spoke brightly to Mother.
“I’ll be going now.”
***
Wolmu-gung at night felt even more eerie than during the day. Maybe it was because of its owner.
Once I crossed the threshold and stepped inside, there wasn’t a single person in sight.
No matter what, he was still a prince. Yet there wasn’t even an eunuch waiting to stand guard. It was truly excessive.
For a brief moment, I felt pity for my disciple, but I quickly suppressed it.
‘That pitiful disciple grows up to kill many of his siblings and ascend to the throne. And on the day of his coronation, he takes my life as well. There’s no reason to feel sorry for him.’
More importantly, where was my disciple? With no one around, it was difficult to find him.
Recalling that he had mentioned the rear garden, I walked past the study I usually entered and followed the stone path.
It was so quiet that the sounds of my footsteps and the rustling of dried leaves echoed around me.
‘Even the sounds are lonely.’
How long had I been walking? Finally, I saw my disciple.
He stood alone, staring blankly at a small winter chrysanthemum that seemed much too insignificant for a flower viewing.
That sight was worlds apart from his appearance on the day of his coronation, adorned in a golden Emperor’s Ceremonial Robe and walking down a path lined with gold.
Thinking about it, he truly was an enigma. While I returned to my past after death, he chose to regress even after successfully becoming emperor and avenging himself.
It’s such a pitiful—
Wait, what?
‘Right, my disciple has experienced multiple regressions, hasn’t he? Why? I returned after dying, but why did he regress even though he was alive? Was it because I killed him? But in the last life, I died, and he lived, yet he still regressed? Did he die shortly after I did?’
Lost in those thoughts, I stood dazed as my disciple’s face came into view, approaching me.
I snapped back to my senses. This wasn’t the time to be lost in thought. I needed to focus on reality. My disciple, who had noticed my arrival, was now walking toward me.
“You’re here.”
He approached me and muttered as he looked me over, as if assessing prey.
“I didn’t think you’d come.”
You’re the one who summoned me…
“Of course I must come when Your Highness calls.”
“It’s an honor to know you thought that way.”
“Haha.”
Was he mocking me? I watched him with a forced laugh, and soon he started walking somewhere.
Following him, I noticed a small pavilion where a table set for drinking had been arranged, with winter chrysanthemums in plain view.
I had been so focused on the modest chrysanthemum and my solitary disciple that I hadn’t even registered the table.
But seriously, the chrysanthemums looked pitiful, and the table was sparse. This wasn’t a table for the future emperor, or even for a regular prince.
Even the table I used was more lavish than this.
Surprised by the humble arrangement, I sat down politely across from him.
Maybe because of the soft, fluttery clothing I wore, my robe didn’t spread out as smoothly as I wanted when I knelt. According to etiquette, the robes should be spread out neatly when seated.
As I awkwardly adjusted my clothes, my disciple bent slightly forward and helped straighten my wrinkled robe.
“!”
Startled, I looked up with wide eyes, but he remained expressionless as he fixed my attire and sat back.
His nonchalant demeanor made me, who was surprised, seem odd.
I stared at him like a fool for a while before forcing a smile and expressing my gratitude.
“Thank you, Your Highness.”
But his response was stranger than his actions.
“Do you have someone you love, Master?”
Caught off guard, I tried to drink water to cover my embarrassment but ended up choking and coughing.
‘What is he talking about?’
I looked at him while holding my throat, but his expression was as calm as ever.
Was it just a light topic to start the conversation? Maybe. I had talked about similar things with Seon-an before.
Right. The topic itself wasn’t surprising. It was just odd to be having this conversation with my disciple.
Realizing I had overreacted to something that wasn’t that shocking, I took out my handkerchief and wiped my mouth, smiling.
“Well…”
“How about your disciple?”
“!”
—
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