Chapter 12: So You Want to Act That Way?
What did I just hear? I stared blankly at my disciple.
Meanwhile, he remained completely composed, placing his hand on the white wine jug to check its temperature.
I kept dabbing at my lips with a handkerchief, silently cursing. What is he even saying? Did he go mad after regressing multiple times?
I couldn’t remember, but in one of our past lives, I was told that I killed him. And in the previous life, he killed me for that revenge. Our relationship was one steeped in poison and blood—what nonsense was he talking about now?
If I answered “woof, woof, woof” right here, my disciple would probably respond with, “I see.” That’s how absurd his words were.
“You’re going to wear out your lips.”
He chuckled, teasing me, and I quickly lowered the handkerchief. It seemed I had been rubbing my lips with it the entire time I was lost in thought.
I immediately retorted,
“It won’t wear out from just this.”
It was a rebuttal to his trivial joke.
“Well, I suppose it wouldn’t.”
But when he added this unexpected agreement, I froze again. What was that supposed to mean? Why did he sound as if he knew me well enough to say that?
Throwing out strange remarks, he elegantly sipped his water.
Feeling uneasy, I fiddled with my handkerchief. Coming here to drink with him was already starting to feel like a mistake.
Not that I came here willingly in the first place, but I should’ve refused more skillfully.
As I noticed that part of the handkerchief had flipped over in my fidgeting, a sudden thought struck me.
Oh. Was he not asking if I liked him, but rather evaluating himself as a romantic interest?
“……”
Thinking it over, that made more sense. The words he’d tossed out were vague enough that I must have misunderstood.
Friends sometimes joked like that, didn’t they? Though I wasn’t exactly friends with my disciple.
Feeling more at ease, I folded the handkerchief neatly and responded in a bright tone to make up for the earlier silence.
“Your Highness is a remarkable person. Who wouldn’t admire you?”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, indeed.”
“If only you had answered more promptly, it might have sounded believable.”
“!”
I flinched, and he laughed as if it were a joke, tipping the jug to pour me some wine.
Was he trying to pour for me? Caught off guard, I held my cup with both hands as the liquid trickled in.
Watching him, I added,
“I mean it. Would a divine being joke about such a thing?”
I didn’t want the entire drinking session to stay this tense. I needed to loosen the atmosphere. Otherwise, I’d get sick from anxiety instead of intoxicated.
“But Master, what if this disciple were the one you admired?”
But his nonsensical words made my hands shake.
The wine splashed over my hands and onto the table.
“My apologies.”
I hastily put the cup down and grabbed a spare cloth to clean the spilled wine.
“Is it so surprising?”
He spoke with a joking tone as he set the jug down.
“Didn’t you just say that there’s no one who wouldn’t admire me?”
What on earth was he scheming? I glanced at his expression. My disciple was too clever to take my words at face value.
From what I knew of his behavior in the last life, he was not inclined towards men. So why was he saying this to me now?
Was it possible that even though I was disguised as a man, he was instinctively drawn to me? But that wouldn’t make sense, considering how ruthlessly he killed me in the past.
‘Did he perhaps… undress me after I died?’
No, that’s impossible. He didn’t even bother to give his enemies a proper burial. When they died, he simply tossed their bodies into pits and covered them, as a final humiliation.
There was no way he would have gone through the long process of washing my body and changing my clothes. I was probably the person he resented the most. It didn’t add up.
Moreover, it wasn’t as if he had killed me in secret.
‘Did he change his mind after regressing?’
No, that didn’t make sense either. It had only been a few days since he regressed.
And the most compelling evidence that he wasn’t serious was in his eyes. Though his tone was light, his gaze was as cold as ice.
‘Is he just toying with me?’
I didn’t know why, but I decided to respond in the most standard way.
“Of course, it’s surprising. I’m a man.”
“So what?”
“Pardon?”
“Master, you like men too, don’t you?”
“!”
This disciple was intent on teasing me thoroughly today. Startled, I almost splashed wine on him.
I gripped the cup tightly and glared at him.
‘Does he know I had feelings for the 3rd prince before regressing? He must know.’
In my past life, I had admired the 3rd prince. After agonizing for a long time, I had to let go of that affection, but at this point in time, I still harbored feelings for him.
He must have been mocking me intentionally, unaware that the version of me before him had already given up on the 3rd prince.
Otherwise, there’d be no reason for him to say such things to someone known for being a notorious flirt.
Unable to control my expression, I deliberately covered my face with my cup and sleeve and took a sip. But even as I drank, my insides continued to churn.
Eventually, I gave up drinking and looked back at my disciple, who had poured wine for me but was now sipping water alone.
“Though you invited me to drink and enjoy the flowers, Your Highness is only drinking water.”
I couldn’t resist the urge to be sarcastic as irritation bubbled up inside me. My disciple, without even putting down his glass of water, replied,
“I poured wine for Master. But who would pour for this disciple?”
“I see. It seems I was inattentive.”
I dramatically took his cup and filled it to the brim, nearly spilling over, before handing it back. When I put the jug down, he took the cup with an expressionless face and downed it in one go.
Though he looked neutral, in my eyes, it felt as if he were mocking me, which made me even more irate. The whole situation was already infuriating, but seeing the beautiful face of my disciple, as flawless as a summer flower, only fueled my anger.
I deliberately poured him another cup. Get drunk already.
He accepted it and drank without hesitation, his Adam’s apple moving slowly.
As soon as he set the cup down, I poured another, and he drank that one as well without protest.
‘Is he not getting drunk?’
Our eyes met again, and as soon as they did, he asked in a soft voice, as if he’d been waiting,
“Have you made up your mind?”
“Drink some more.”
“Will I hear an answer before the bottle runs dry?”
“Just keep drinking for now.”
He only made that proposal to tease me, didn’t he? Was he planning to mock me if I said I admired him or scold me for being impertinent if I refused?
Grinding my teeth internally, I was about to pour more wine for this sly fellow but changed my mind and only poured enough to wet the bottom of the cup.
He lifted the cup to drink in one go, but when he noticed I’d only given him a few drops, he paused, chuckled, and looked at me.
“What’s this, Master?”
Was it too obvious that I was trying to buy time to think?
“Wine should be sipped slowly.”
Feigning ignorance, I answered in a solemn tone, and he smiled and asked,
“Are you worried about this disciple’s health or the aftermath of a refusal?”
“Both.”
As I watched him pick up a piece of fried rice cake as a snack, a story from before my regression came to mind.
Right, Hwaryeo’s alcohol tolerance was incredible. Was it when he suddenly surged to the forefront of the imperial succession? He had once competed in a drinking contest with the 8th princess. She died from excessive drinking, but he was fine.
I’d heard they drank all day. No wonder—at that level of tolerance, the few cups I’d given him now wouldn’t even affect him.
I weakly picked up my cup and took a few sips. Unlike him, I couldn’t drink endlessly and needed to pace myself. If I got drunk and spouted nonsense, it would be disastrous.
As the sharp sensation slid down my throat, a sudden idea struck me.
He was asking me to admire him because he knew that, at this point before my regression, I was infatuated with the 3rd prince. It irritated me, but could I use this to my advantage?
Hwaryeo wasn’t attracted to men, nor did he have any feelings for me, so even if I confessed to liking him, he wouldn’t accept it. If I openly declared my admiration, he might mock me at first, but eventually, he would find it tiresome.
Maybe, just maybe, that annoyance would lessen his vigilance toward me.
Pretending to be a flirt who clung to him might change the narrative a bit… but that was for others to judge. Hwaryeo seemed to know that I admired the 3rd prince. If I acted as if I’d fallen for him instead, perhaps he wouldn’t find my behavior so strange, even if it was different from before my regression.
‘Am I a genius? This seems like a great idea.’
Yes, let’s go with that plan.
Of course, switching my affections from the 3rd to the 13th prince too abruptly would be suspicious. I’d start by appearing conflicted and gradually shift my attention.
‘Wow, this is brilliant. Am I really this smart?’
With my mind made up, I casually asked,
“Are you still curious?”
Hwaryeo, who had been pouring himself a drink, paused and looked at me, as if he had forgotten the proposal he’d made.
“About my answer. The one about admiration.”
I quickly clarified, and he responded with a peculiar smile.
“By asking like that, it sounds as if this disciple confessed his feelings to Master first and is waiting for a reply.”
“……”
“Yes, I am still waiting for your answer.”
He smiled with his eyes.
Suppressing the urge to smack his forehead, I took a deep breath to calm myself.
Then, wearing the charming expression I used when pretending to be a flirt, I spoke brightly.
“Now that I think about it, it wouldn’t be so bad to admire Your Highness.”
As soon as I said that, his smile faltered slightly. He hadn’t expected me to respond so easily to a proposal he’d made first. It seemed he had anticipated a rejection.
Seeing his discomfort, I added for good measure,
“Your Highness is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”
“!”
For the first time that night, I saw him genuinely unsettled by my words. It was so amusing I almost laughed out loud.
But I held back and continued speaking like the admirer I was pretending to be.
“Your Highness is far more elegant than the winter chrysanthemums you invited me to view. But you’re such a noble figure that I could never dare to hold such thoughts. Yet, since you’ve laid the groundwork like this…”
I trailed off, ending with a smile. Hwaryeo, who had been staring at me intently, let out a short sigh.
Then, he chuckled almost incredulously and murmured in a voice barely loud enough to hear,
“So that’s how you want to play this?”
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