Chapter 90
Thanks to the goggles I was wearing.
‘Not bad.’
Even with my eyes open underwater, they didn’t feel dry or irritated.
On top of that, my vision was crystal clear…
This was way more convenient than I had expected.
I lowered my head and scanned the lakebed.
Since this was supposed to be a place filled with the remnants of souls, I thought I’d encounter some terrifying deep-sea monsters.
Or maybe ghost-like creatures.
‘But there’s nothing here—not even fish.’
Puzzled by the unexpectedly barren interior of the lake, I tilted my head.
Maybe I was searching in waters that were too shallow?
‘I should probably dive a bit deeper.’
I could still hold my breath for now,
And more importantly, I was eager to find the crystal as soon as possible.
So, I decided to dive deeper, even if it pushed my limits a little.
This was the kind of tactic you could only try at the start, when you were still full of energy.
‘If I run out of breath, I’ll just send the signal.’
With my thoughts resolved, I relaxed my body.
At that moment, I felt myself sink further into the water.
I couldn’t say how much deeper I had gone.
But just as I reached a spot where the light barely filtered through—
A glimmer caught my eye.
‘The Crystal of the Bloody Sea!’
I instinctively knew what it was.
The glimmering object before me could only be the Crystal of the Bloody Sea.
Drawn to it like a butterfly to a flower, I stretched out my hand.
With a name like “Crystal of the Bloody Sea,” I had imagined it would look something like a pearl.
‘I didn’t expect it to look like this.’
Surprised by its unexpected appearance, I paused to examine it closely.
It looked like a cluster of red threads tangled into a sphere.
Almost like a ball of fur.
‘So, this is what I’m supposed to bring back?’
It was fascinating to look at, but I didn’t have the luxury of time to just admire it.
I was already running out of breath.
Without hesitation, I grabbed it.
Screeeeech—
Suddenly, an eerie sound echoed in my ears.
‘Ugh!’
Instinctively letting go of the crystal, I clutched my ears and winced.
What was this horrifying noise?
It felt like hearing nails on a chalkboard for the first time in years—so jarring it made my skin crawl.
The last time I heard something like this was back in school, when a teacher accidentally scraped the board.
To make matters worse, the ball of threads began to unravel.
The once-tightly-knit strands spread out like tentacles.
‘I knew it.’
Watching the red threads writhe like the arms of a massive sea anemone, I bit my lip.
There was no way this was going to be easy.
-President of Ro-fan Association (romxxx): How many tentacles does it even have?
ㄴSpoiler-Free Zone (iowxxx): Probably more than a thousand. Gross.
-Owen (dowxxx): Honestly, it looks like hair clogged in a shower drain.
ㄴPresident of Ro-fan Association (romxxx): Please stop with the detailed descriptions;;
ㄴMy House is Near a Convenience Store (civxxx): Thanks for making me feel nauseous.
-Reading from Chapter 1 (aimxxx): Poor Wendy has to deal with that thing.
ㄴyepyep! (hapxxx): Holding her breath must be even harder than dealing with that.
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At the same time, the comment section popped up in front of me.
Most of the comments complained about how disgusting the Crystal of the Bloody Sea looked.
But there were a few scattered comments about other things as well.
‘Reader feedback can actually be helpful sometimes.’
Thanks to the lively comments, I felt my scattered thoughts begin to settle.
Just like the readers pointed out, holding my breath was becoming increasingly difficult.
But the biggest problem wasn’t the grotesque, tentacle-like creature.
It was something far worse.
‘Let us go.’
‘It’s so cold here.’
‘Don’t eat us. Save us.’
‘Don’t step on us. It hurts.’
The dreadful wails echoed relentlessly in my ears.
A cacophony of despair filled the air, its mournful cries bouncing endlessly around me.
I knew exactly who these voices belonged to.
Souls so faint and light that they couldn’t pass on to the afterlife.
It’s commonly believed that humans cross the River of Reincarnation upon death.
But what about everything else?
Plants, insects, and even microorganisms—what happens to them?
Their souls, much smaller than a human’s, often failed to reincarnate and wandered aimlessly in the Western Flower Field.
If they were lucky, they would be reborn as plants or animals in that field.
But most of them, over time, gathered and formed clusters like this.
Normally, they would naturally dissipate before forming a large mass.
But these particular souls must have had especially strong remnants of will.
The cluster had grown to a size larger than a baseball—big enough to fill both hands.
‘I should go back and discuss this.’
I would’ve preferred to just grab it and head up, but…
There was no way I had the guts to carry a writhing, screeching monstrosity back to the surface.
Not to mention, who knew what could happen if I mishandled it?
I reached out to grab the rope and signal for a pull.
But then—
‘You can’t leave.’
‘Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go.’
‘Don’t abandon us.’
The tentacles tightly coiled around not just my arms and legs but even the rope.
No, it wasn’t just tentacles—it was the countless lingering remnants pulling me further and further downward.
‘No, I can’t—!’
If this continued, my companions would lose their grip on the rope.
Given how the rope’s structure only allowed for a certain depth, they’d have no choice but to let go.
I clenched my lips tightly in tension and looked upward.
As expected, the rope had reached its limit.
Tug—
The rope stretched taut and showed no sign of lowering further.
The strength in my hand gripping the rope was slowly draining away.
There were just three centimeters left.
The gap between my hand and the rope.
And even that gap began to widen as time passed.
Two centimeters. One centimeter.
By the time I reached my limit—
‘Ah.’
I ultimately let go of the rope.
As I sank deeper below the surface, I felt as if the world around me had flipped.
Water rushed into my nose, leaving me gasping for breath.
Not that it was new—my breathing had been strained for a while now.
But it wasn’t until this moment that the reality of death began to dawn on me.
‘Is this how it all ends, so pointlessly?’
I gazed at the surface, which was growing farther and farther away.
The sunlight shining down from the depths was unbearably cruel.
So brilliant and radiant, yet so out of reach.
Looking at that endlessly sparkling light, which was so opposite to my grim reality, a long-buried memory from childhood surfaced.
Our family had been a single-parent household.
After my father squandered our home on some investment scam, my parents divorced.
At the young age of thirty-four, my mother raised me alone.
While others enjoyed Christmas with chicken and pizza,
I sat at the table with just a single fried egg on my plate and asked,
‘Mom, why don’t we eat chicken?’
My mother had smiled as she replied,
‘Sometimes, to catch the rising sun, you have to become the darkness yourself.’
‘Darkness….’
As I poked the soft yolk of my egg, I replied,
‘That’s too hard to understand. So, is this egg the sun?’
Back then, I was too young to understand what she meant.
‘It just means that if you live with a good heart, something good will eventually come your way. Now, say “ah.”’
Now, I think I understand.
If you let go of everything, there will come a day when life offers you a chance big enough to change everything.
But, Mom…
What if that chance never comes, even after you’ve given up everything?
What if, no matter how honestly you live, all you do is barely scrape by, over and over again?
‘Mom!’
‘Miss, Miss! Please stop! You can’t go in there!’
‘Save my mom! Mom!’
When I turned twenty, my mother, who had spent her whole life supporting me,
‘The patient isn’t responding… It seems….’
Passed away peacefully on the cold hospital bed.
She left behind a short note, telling me to eat well and take care of myself.
Even at the very end, all she did was worry about me.
My vision began to blur.
Without enough oxygen reaching my brain, I was slowly losing consciousness.
I could never understand my mother.
When she was still young, she gave up everything to raise me.
She couldn’t go where she wanted or do what she wanted.
I didn’t mind that she couldn’t buy me chicken,
But I hated watching her mix cold rice with water and eat alone.
I didn’t mind when she apologized for not being able to buy me a bouquet at graduation,
But I resented her when she handed me wildflowers she’d picked with her battered, scarred hands.
My mother was my greatest happiness but also my greatest sorrow.
That’s why I tried so hard not to live like her.
‘Two Americanos, please!’
‘That’ll be 4,500 won. Have a nice day~’
I worked two or three jobs while attending school to pay my tuition.
‘What’s the point of working hard if you can’t even smile kindly at customers?’
After graduation, I got a job at a tiny company to start earning money.
Even when things got tough, I endured, thinking that someday my opportunity would come.
That’s how I got through life.
I knew I wasn’t the only one struggling—everyone had their burdens to bear.
But there were still days when I felt completely alone.
Days when I felt like a foreigner, disconnected from the world.
The day I got fired from my stable job.
The day I was forced to vacate my room because my part-time paycheck was overdue.
The day everything that seemed to be going well suddenly fell apart.
Riding the subway home after work, staring blankly at colorful loan ads, I wondered.
Is this really life?
A life where happiness is unattainable—is it even life, or should it just be called suffering?
‘I’ll probably live a boring life like this forever, die in debt, and take that burden to my grave.’
If I hadn’t come to this world, I might have died thinking like that.
But everything changed after I came here.
‘Sister!’
‘My savior.’
‘Wendy Porcelain!’
I met people more precious to me than my own life.
For the first time, I had something I wanted to protect.
‘I love you, Sister!’
‘I’d trust you with my life, Wendy!’
‘I’d trust you with two lives!’
It was my first time feeling like this.
To have someone depend on me—it felt so warm.
So overwhelming.
Was this why Mom made her choice?
To light up a small, dim sun in the darkness.
‘Love you, my daughter.’
Had she become the darkness herself?
—
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