Chapter 35
“Are you truly prepared?”
It was a question loaded with meaning.
Who was Namgung Jin?
He was practically the personification of aloofness.
Though no one could be sure of his inner feelings, it was said that no one had ever seen him be openly affectionate toward anyone.
Perhaps, in private, he showed a gentle side to his wife, Jo Shim-hyang.
But to think he was so indifferent to her that he felt compelled to seek advice from me and Yeon-hee—this was a serious matter.
“Prepared?”
“Yes. Since you came to me for help, I intend to give it my all. However, my methods may be unpleasant and challenging for you. Are you still willing?”
“…”
“I’m asking if you’re ready to endure any kind of humiliation for your wife’s sake.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t have come here if I weren’t.”
“One last question: will you promise me?”
“How could a man say one thing and do another?”
“Good. Then from now on, you must follow my instructions completely.”
I pressed Namgung Jin hard, almost excessively so. This final agreement was crucial to prevent him from backing out later.
“First, we need to address the cause.”
“The cause?”
“You said it’s difficult to show your love for your wife. Why is that?”
“Well…”
This was the heart of the issue.
Why couldn’t Namgung Jin express affection for Jo Shim-hyang? Was it due to others watching? A desire to maintain authority as a husband? Family honour? Without clarity, we wouldn’t be able to solve his problem.
“Hmm, it’s just that…”
“Don’t hesitate, speak openly, just as you did when you first came to me.”
“It’s embarrassing!”
“?”
“If I even hint at those things, she laughs softly and lightly taps my shoulder like a girl… and it’s just too embarrassing.”
Namgung Jin closed his eyes tightly, bowing his head. Damn.
Watching a man in his thirties blush out of shyness was difficult to bear.
“For such a simple reason…?”
“Simple? You wouldn’t understand. You, who can boldly declare your love for Yeon-hee in front of dozens of people!”
“…”
Oh, really.
Is he throwing that at me?
If that’s his attitude, I’ll have to be tougher.
“Alright, I understand the issue clearly. So, you’re just a coward who’s afraid to express your feelings to the person you love. Is that correct?”
“Coward? Isn’t that a bit harsh!”
“Oh? Are you already objecting to my words? Then I won’t be able to help you.”
“Grr…”
Coward.
To the third son of the Namgung family, this was likely an insult he’d never heard before.
But he had to take it. Compared to the shame I’d felt, this was child’s play.
“First, you need to get used to feeling embarrassed. For that, you’ll need to become a pabulchul (a lovesick fool).”
“A pabulchul…”
“Your father-in-law and second brother are famous for openly showing their love for family. What did you think of their behaviour?”
“Ridiculous?”
“That’s exactly why you’re not like them! People don’t know how you feel if you don’t express it! Do you think people look at them and think, ‘How ridiculous’? Not at all. They think, ‘Wow, they really cherish their family.’ Any reasonable person would think that!”
Granted, they could be a bit much at times, but that didn’t matter right now. A direct comparison would help Namgung Jin understand.
“The key is to make such expressions as natural as breathing. If you can’t praise someone in public, how can you possibly whisper love to your wife?”
“Then… what should I do?”
“Start by expressing it to those around you. I wouldn’t tell a toddler to run before they can walk.”
Building familiarity was essential.
If he felt too embarrassed to say it to the person in question, he needed to start by boasting about her to those around him.
And enduring the awkwardness was just part of the process.
***
“Good morning, brother.”
“Ah, Jin. What brings you here so early?”
“Since you’re always so busy, we don’t get much time to talk. I thought I’d stop by to ask how you’re doing.”
Namgung Sun, caught off guard by his younger brother’s unexpected visit, welcomed him warmly.
Always the diligent worker for the family, Jin despised wasting time, so it was unusual for him to come by just to check in.
“Brother, did you know my wife is quite skilled with the zither?”
“Really?”
“Yes. When she plays, it feels as though I’m floating above the clouds.”
“I didn’t know your wife had such a talent.”
“Ha ha, you’d be amazed if you heard her, brother.”
Suddenly praising his wife, Namgung Jin caught Namgung Sun off guard, but he played along graciously.
And with that, Jin quickly made his exit, as if he’d accomplished his mission.
‘What on earth…?’
It was a side of Namgung Jin that even Namgung Sun hadn’t seen.
“Brother, I hear sister-in-law is skilled in cooking.”
“Haha, skilled might be overstating it. She just puts effort into taking care of me.”
“But did you know my wife is no less attentive?”
“?”
“She wakes up at dawn to prepare breakfast for me. She treasures me just as much. Isn’t that wonderful?”
“Oh, well, I didn’t know that. How nice.”
Jin, who had come to congratulate Sang-gwan Yeong on her pregnancy, was suddenly boasting about his own wife, but Namgung Hyeo laughed heartily, looking at his brother-in-law fondly. What a sight.
“Grandfather, if you knew how attentive my wife is to me, you’d be amazed.”
“Oh? This is the first I’m hearing of it.”
“When she smiles at me so tenderly… she’s so lovely.”
“…”
“Did you feel the same when you looked at Grandmother, Grandfather? Your heart racing, so captivated you could hardly bear it…”
“I get it, I get it! Enough already, you fool!”
While in the middle of playing Go, Grand Elder Namgung Hwan was suddenly seized as well.
Namgung Jin went around his family members like he was performing a pilgrimage, praising his wife to anyone he encountered, even stopping people he met along the way.
Normally known for his reticent and stoic personality, his sudden behaviour was so unexpected that rumours began to circulate, speculating if he’d either eaten something strange or fallen into inner turmoil during his martial arts training.
***
The training went smoothly.
At first, Namgung Jin was repulsed and claimed he couldn’t do it, but before long, he became so accustomed to his pabulchul role that everyone in the family noticed.
Just imagining his stiff face as he boasted about his wife was satisfying.
For the next stage, I dug deep into my memories.
I recalled lines from romance dramas I’d seen in my past life, lines that made me cringe to the point where my whole brain seemed to throb.
“I… like you?”
“Yes, very much.”
“Want to grab some beef noodles at that pavilion?”
“Wonderful.”
“Make me Jo Shim-hyang’s honorary bodyguard.”
“Yes, that’s it!”
“…”
The words were so uncomfortable to say that I felt like my very humanity was eroding with each utterance. I couldn’t wait to see Jo Shim-hyang’s reaction.
“Brother-in-law, I apologize for doubting you again, but… are you sure about this?”
“Ah, there you go again! Brother, didn’t you say that following my advice has given you more courage?”
“Well, do you also say such things to Yeon-hee?”
“Of course. I say it dozens of times a day.”
Would I really say that?
If I ever said such things to Yeon-hee… I would probably leap off a cliff just to see if I’d gain a miraculous chance of survival.
But it’s not enough yet!
I led Namgung Jin outside.
“Do we really have to go this far?”
“If you lack the resolve, feel free to quit!”
“Alright, alright.”
“Repeat after me: ‘Jo Shim-hyang, I adore you!’”
“Jo Shim-hyang, I adore you!”
“Is that all the volume you have?”
“Jo Shim-hyang! I… adore you!”
“Louder!”
“I love you, Jo Shim-hyang!”
“More! More!”
Namgung Jin shouted with all his might.
Following my instructions, he infused his inner energy, projecting his voice across the entire estate.
Normally as cool and cold-hearted as his icy expression, Namgung Jin’s face was flushed red as he bellowed out his confession, causing the entire family to freeze, as though they’d just witnessed something they shouldn’t have.
‘Namgung Jin, be warned: those who hurt others must prepare to be hurt themselves…’
A gentleman’s revenge is not too late, even after ten years.
“My… my dear!”
Of course, there was no way she wouldn’t hear it. Jo Shim-hyang appeared. She looked at him, her face as red as his, calling out to him.
‘Now, Namgung Jin, it’s time to show the results of your training!’
I watched him proudly, as if sending off a disciple venturing out into the world. Realizing his deeds had been exposed, Namgung Jin’s choice was…
“Ahhh!”
…to flee.
***
Namgung Jin was running fast.
‘Will you just keep running away?’
Whenever he thought of his wife, he was filled with guilt.
Though it had started as an arranged marriage, he had come to feel boundless affection from her treatment toward him.
But, he was simply unused to expressing his feelings.
He felt only sorry for his wife, who had married a clumsy husband.
‘She was crying…’
When the news of Sang-gwan Yeong’s pregnancy was announced, it was a time of joy, a blessing to celebrate.
However, he and his wife, despite trying, had never been able to conceive.
She had shed tears in private, blaming herself for not putting in enough effort.
Her image lingered painfully in his mind.
‘It’s my own fault!’
So, he endured the humiliation, exposed his inner self to his much younger brother-in-law, and followed his baffling instructions.
In reality, as he expressed his love for her openly in front of his family, he gradually felt a little more comfortable.
The illusion of courage seemed to arise within him.
‘Still, even now, I am…’
But it was far from enough.
His wife approached, having heard his declaration.
The time was right.
Yet, here he was, unable to endure the moment, running away.
‘This place…’
He stopped in the garden.
This was the very spot they had strolled through together before they were married.
“I won’t promise to make you happy. But I promise never to let tears well up in your eyes.”
His vow surfaced in his mind.
Why had he so easily made a promise he couldn’t keep? She had believed him on the weight of those careless words. Why had he…
“My dear. Why did you suddenly run off like that?”
Following after him, his wife spoke, catching her breath, smiling at him.
Even after all these years, she was as beautiful as ever. And to think of how cruelly he’d treated her.
‘Now’s the time!’
He thought back.
The words he’d practiced under Lee Se-woong’s guidance, the countless phrases he had honed to convey his love.
But, as he reached for them, each carefully collected word scattered from his mind.
None of them… felt enough.
“My dear?”
Step by step, with heavy feet, he approached her.
He took Jo Shim-hyang in his arms.
“I love you.”
Just saying those words—why had it been so difficult?
“Thank you for always being by my side. Thank you for waiting for a man who couldn’t even manage to say a proper word.”
“…”
“I love you. Every morning, seeing you fills me with excitement, yet my racing heart keeps me from speaking.”
With his walls crumbling, he poured out his heart.
“Because of that, I hurt you… Despite being such a flawed husband, can you forgive me?”
“My dear.”
Holding her close, he waited for her answer.
“I’ve heard you.”
“There’s no need for ‘forgiveness’ between husband and wife.”
“…”
“We love each other. Why would mere words ever matter?”
No more words were necessary.
The warmth they felt, embracing each other.
The single, brave step he had taken.
It was enough.
—
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