Chapter 1: Who Are You? (1)
“Ugh…”
The moment I realized I had come to my senses was when I felt the headache that seemed to have been waiting to hit me. On top of that, the pain from the punch to my jaw delivered by that damn Yoon Si-hu during the sparring session perfectly complemented the headache, feeling as if my skull would crack open and burst out.
Enduring the pain and clenching my teeth only made the agony worse.
“Ugh!”
It felt like being struck by lightning. It was as if the wound, bleeding profusely, was being scraped open.
“Thanks to you, I’m starting to come to my senses. Damn it.”
Although it’s a stretch to say “thanks,” the sharp pain made the daze I felt upon waking completely vanish.
The problem is that it feels like I’m going to die from the pain.
It’s strange that the headache is as severe as the pain from the jaw, but…
“What was that, really?”
[I’ve never seen such nonsense Taiji Quan before.]
** Taiji Quan (태극권), also known as Tai Chi Chuan or simply Tai Chi, is a Chinese martial art renowned for its slow, flowing movements and emphasis on balance, flexibility, and internal energy **
[How can you call that Taiji Quan when it moves so stiffly? It’s infuriating to watch!]
It sounded like someone was evaluating me from a third-person perspective, but it was definitely not a sound I heard with my ears. It was a voice directly resonating inside my head.
I wonder what kind of dissociative identity disorder makes a voice so clear. Perhaps it was the kind of voice you want to hear when you’re in a tough situation, resembling someone you’d want to see.
“Anyway, I don’t hear it anymore.”
The voice, however, no longer sounds.
At this point, I’m curious about what kind of dissociative identity disorder is so selective.
I don’t know if you understand dissociative identity disorder or not.
“Ha…”
Maybe I took the wrong path.
Thanks to having a quirky grandfather, I’ve been exposed to martial artists since I was young.
Generally, government officials who enjoy their positions despise and even hate martial artists who act recklessly and flout the law.
To the extent of almost loathing them.
But my grandfather was someone who looked at people rather than their background or status. If he felt a connection with someone, he didn’t care about their background and would share drinks and friendship, forming connections with many good people.
Among them were quite a few martial artists.
Thanks to this, I was exposed to martial artists from a young age. Along with incidents from my childhood, I came to understand and fall in love with the power of extraordinary people.
What started as vague admiration became an aspiration and a driving force.
Although the result is as it is.
With the help of some people who thought well of me, I was introduced to and entered the Wudang sect as an outer disciple, but due to a lack of talent, I have always been in a pitiful state.
Everyone said that my physical condition wasn’t bad and that I had some talent, but the result is as you see.
It’s not surprising that the elderly, who have trouble finding black hair, might not understand.
“Are you awake?”
“Huh? Yes.”
While I was lost in my own world, someone approached and spoke to me.
“It’s time to review the sparring session just now. Come out quickly.”
It was one of the same-generation disciples who entered with me, speaking as coldly as if talking to someone they had just met.
It must mean they don’t like me.
Watching the back of the disciple who just tossed out those words and left, I sighed once more.
Reviewing the sparring session.
It’s a time of criticism and evaluation to judge the rights and wrongs of what happened during the sparring.
I’ve never received a good review here. Especially when the opponent is Yoon Si-hu.
Yoon Si-hu.
He seemed to enjoy tormenting me, mocking and tormenting me from the time I entered. With a powerful background, once he targeted me, I was effectively an outcast.
It might sound like I’m blaming others, but in some ways, the reason I haven’t grown is also due to him.
What a growing sapling needs is water, soil, and sunlight, not kicks.
“Can’t do it, can’t do it.”
I briefly wanted to escape, but then shook my head and gathered my resolve.
What drives a person?
What makes a person move?
My grandfather once talked about a philosophical question like that. And in response, he said:
“People seek what is familiar to them. They follow the path they have made for themselves. Whether good or bad.”
In summary.
People move by inertia.
If you do something today, you can do it tomorrow as well. If you do it tomorrow, you can do it the day after. So, if there is a way of life you truly value, don’t treat it as a task to be completed but as a way of life. If you accept it as naturally as breathing, it will integrate into your very being.
One of the serious pieces of advice my grandfather gave was this.
A person who knows how to cherish what is precious is admirable.
Hearing that, I thought I would never forget that story. Because the grandfather who said that seemed so cool.
I followed that path.
“……I want to be stronger.”
The ideals are high, but the reality is even higher.
Struggling in front of an insurmountable wall is painful. Sometimes it feels like drowning while still alive.
If it weren’t painful, it would be a lie. Anyone would feel that way if their efforts didn’t yield results.
Some might say it’s foolish. Others might say it’s pathetic. All that follows are negative comments.
But even if it’s foolish, even if it’s pathetic.
Right now, I want to struggle with all my might.
Talent is like a shining star. If the stars shining in the night sky are someone’s talent, then even if it’s small, there must be at least one star shining for me.
“Hang in there.”
[Both your talent and temperament are not bad. But is your low achievement due to not knowing how to train properly?]
“Huh?”
Wham!
I was hit again on the already painful jaw.
Everything went white in front of my eyes again.
It really hurts!
“We’re not in the middle of a sparring match but in the review of the previous sparring session. Do not strike directly.”
“Yes, I’m sorry.”
The Wudang sect disciple, who had come out to train the outer disciples, gave a warning to Yoon Si-hu, who had struck me under the pretext of reviewing the sparring.
Of course, there were no real consequences.
Words alone carry no weight.
That’s why Yoon Si-hu is acting like this.
It’s understandable. Since he has strong backing, they probably don’t want to offend him. Yoon Si-hu knows that too, so he responds with just shameless words.
Look at him now. He has no interest in me, who is crumpled on the ground.
[The “Nine Seals” is executed without preparatory movements. The stiffness you show is a result of your eagerness to strike strongly.]
It’s starting again. Did I really hit my head?
The voice that I thought had disappeared from my head started again.
“Yeon Cheong-un, focus.”
The stern words from the main disciple, who had finally started paying attention after my concentration was disrupted by the voices in my head, were severe. He was able to immediately notice that my focus had wavered.
Inside and out, everything is chaotic.
This is driving me crazy.
“Just now, when you were hit on the jaw, if you had to use a different technique, what would have been the appropriate technique to use?”
[The Six Seals and Four Closures (육봉사폐).]
The answer immediately came to mind.
It didn’t seem like the right answer to me.
“…The Six Seals and Four Closures?”
My mouth reflexively repeated those words.
“Pfft! The Six Seals and Four Closures? Hahaha!”
Thanks to that, I saw Yoon Si-hu’s rotten laugh.
“Honestly, when you’re foolish, your body suffers.”
The sharp gaze from Yoon Si-hu that I had seen many times before flashed in front of me.
“Let’s see you try it.”
As if he had found a good opportunity, Yoon Si-hu moved again.
[Try “Do-dae” (도대).]
As Yoon Si-hu’s movements aimed to strike my jaw again, a voice exploded in my head.
[Two Palms (쌍장), the extended hands are not only for attack but also to gauge the distance and space between you and the opponent! That’s why it means sealing and blocking from all directions!]
Words full of angry emotions poured out.
[Maintain your center! Fix your legs to the ground! It’s “Do-dae”!]
The instructions followed were unusually natural.
[Lowering your center of gravity due to the fear of your lower body shaking is not incorrect, but you are too low. The point is not to lower but to maintain your center of gravity without shaking. Vitality in motion. Don’t think it through with your head but let it flow naturally.]
In that brief moment, it was hard to understand how such words could come out all at once. How I absorbed all those words was also unclear.
What was clear was that my body was moving according to those words.
The Six Seals and Four Closures.
I knew it, but the voice I heard was teaching me something new.
It was similar yet different, the “Six Seals and Four Closures” that I practiced today felt deeper.
Wham!
In line with the voice in my head, my extended hands pushed away the attacking Yoon Si-hu’s palm strike.
“That’s it!”
Yoon Si-hu’s frustration could be felt.
The sensation of the voice turning into a white light during the entire match was another lesson.
“Now! Keep using it!”
The scene seemed to be a part of the lesson. The new information flowed in continuously.
“Oh, you can use that technique properly.”
That voice inside my head started smiling at my growth.
[This is just a beginning! Only by integrating the teachings you have learned now can you truly improve!]
“Keep using it!”
With a loud roar, I smashed the training dummy. The outer disciples around me turned their eyes in amazement.
I had learned a new technique in just a short time.
Even though it was a time of review, I realized it wasn’t just a physical sparring session but an opportunity for growth.
As the white light faded and the familiar voice no longer echoed, I stood in front of the training dummy, feeling an odd mix of relief and fulfillment.
“Did you really learn that technique in such a short time?”
My mouth whispered the question I couldn’t answer.
The teachings were clearer and more accurate than anything I had received before.
Everything felt so vivid now.
“Thank you.”
I don’t know what I learned, where it came from, or who guided me.
I just know it made me stronger.
“Thanks to you, I feel like I’ve taken a step forward.”
I knew there would be more challenges ahead.
But it was an adventure I could accept.
“Hang in there.”
I whispered those words to myself once again and faced the next challenge.
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