Chapter 1
Life is a series of choices.
Every moment brings an opportunity to choose, and the life you live depends on the choices you make.
I have always made choices based on efficiency, and I was able to succeed faster than anyone else.
***
Inside a private room in a high-end Chinese restaurant.
“What’s faster to prepare, black bean noodles or spicy seafood noodle soup?”
At Doyun’s question, the waiter seemed flustered.
“…Black bean noodles are prepared faster.”
“Then I’ll have the black bean noodles.”
Director Lee Beom-un, sitting across from Doyun, jumped up in protest.
“It’s been so long since we’ve met—let’s go for the premium A-course! I came to treat you, Mr. CP…”
“Next time. My schedule is packed.”
“Ha. Fine. Then I’ll have one black bean noodle as well.”
Director Lee Beom-un grudgingly placed his order, and the waiter looked visibly awkward.
“Sir, if you’re ordering from the à la carte menu, you’ll need to dine in the hall.”
“Do you not know who I am? I’m Director Lee Beom-un, who made A Summer Cantabile. Do you think I’m ordering black bean noodles because I can’t afford anything else? Do you want me to tell them to take down Jeong Hyeji and Park Eunjo’s autographs from outside? Should I call Jeong Hyeji myself…”
Watching Director Lee Beom-un brandish his phone and start bluffing, Doyun felt his face grow hot with embarrassment.
‘Why would you reserve such an expensive place without consulting me?’
As Doyun tried to push his chair back to leave, the waiter stopped him.
“Sir, please stay. We’ll bring you two orders of black bean noodles in the room.”
The waiter quickly left the room, and Director Lee Beom-un, who had been so full of bravado moments earlier, now looked visibly humbled.
“Kim PD, no—Top CP Kim Doyun. Are you really going to do this to me? We’ve been friends for 20 years.”
Recently, Doyun had been appointed as the Head of the Global Broadcasting Platform, Mflix.
His exact title was TCP (Top Chief Producer).
He was the highest-ranking of the four CPs (Chief Producers), a producer above other producers.
He had decision-making power over all dramas broadcasted on Mflix.
Without Doyun’s approval, even a high-budget drama could not air on the platform.
He was a graduate of the MBS Broadcasting Academy, often referred to as the birthplace of elites, and had climbed from the bottom to become a giant in the South Korean drama industry.
Because of this, people sought him out everywhere.
“Please help me,” “Save me,” they’d plead—even coming to his house to beg. Directors, PDs, and actors alike.
Director Lee Beom-un was one of them.
Right now, he even looked ready to kneel before Doyun.
However, Doyun’s position as the head of Mflix was a contract position, and the CPs below him were like snakes waiting to seize an opportunity.
If Doyun made even a slight mistake or selected a flop, they would immediately take his position.
As a result, he lived every day with a sense of urgency, unable to savor the sweetness of success.
The anxiety over needing to produce a hit left him with less than four hours of sleep a night, and regular meals were a luxury he couldn’t afford.
Eating a bowl of black bean noodles with someone like Director Lee Beom-un, who barged in unannounced, or hastily grabbing a bite after work had become his norm.
“Kim CP, did you watch the edited version I sent?”
After sipping his tea, Doyun replied politely.
“It was interesting.”
“Really? Hahaha. See? We have the same eye for things!”
“But it doesn’t align with our company’s direction, so I don’t think we’ll be able to schedule it.”
“No, don’t just say that vaguely. What’s wrong with it? Huh? What do I need to change?”
Zero artistic value, zero originality, no clear vision for the drama. Commercial potential? None.
And, above all, zero expectations for Director Lee Beom-un.
“Director, hold on a moment.”
At that moment, the phone in his jacket pocket vibrated, as did the phone on the table.
Even with two phones, there were times when he couldn’t handle all the calls coming in.
Holding both phones, Doyun checked the callers. One was actor Eun Jihoon, the other was writer Go Eunji.
Doyun chose Go Eunji, the globally renowned drama writer.
“Yes, Writer. No matter how packed my schedule is, I’ll make time for you. Oh, really? Understood. Let’s meet in an hour.”
Ending the call, he immediately rejected Eun Jihoon’s call.
The auto-reply, “In a meeting, I’ll call you later,” was sent instead.
The reason for Doyun’s success?
It was because he made wise, efficient choices, discerning between gems and stones with a hawk’s eye.
No matter how arrogant or unpleasant someone was, if they were competent, they were worth it. But those who were incompetent or not currently needed? He kept his distance.
By that measure, actor Eun Jihoon was unnecessary right now, and Director Lee Beom-un was a relic living off past glory.
Still, even when dealing with a relic, Doyun never lost his manners.
While he might be cursing internally—You bastard, after what you pulled, you think I’d give you a slot?—he never let it show.
Who knows when their paths might cross again in this industry?
“Director, where were we?”
“Kim CP—no, Mflix Head! Damn it. Are you really going to do this to me? I’ve staked my life on this project! We’ve already started filming and finished four episodes!”
“I truly enjoyed it, but you know how audiences are these days. They’re so impatient. If the plot drags even a little, they immediately switch channels.”
“Should I cut out the initial setup? I can just reshoot the first episode, right?”
It was amusing. He had no idea what the actual problem was.
“You’re working so hard, Director. That’s why you’re in your current position. Oh, look, the black bean noodles are here.”
Smoothly changing the subject, Doyun began eating his noodles hastily without properly mixing them.
He had to hurry to Yeouido, where Writer Go Eunji’s office was located.
***
“Ugh, I feel bloated.”
That evening, after a day full of work, he returned home to review the scripts sent by production companies while watching TV dramas.
Among them was the script from Go Eunji that he had received earlier.
“What is this? Has she lost her touch?”
The romantic thriller Go Eunji wrote last season was a massive hit.
It had achieved global viewership ratings of 1st place, earning over 300 billion won in short-term profits in the North American market alone.
It had played a significant role in elevating Doyun to Top CP, so he had been particularly supportive of her.
But this script was a disaster.
His instincts had never been wrong before, so he tossed her script aside.
Bzzzz. Bzzzz. Late at night, both of his phones vibrated again.
Once again, it was Eun Jihoon and Go Eunji.
Go Eunji was probably calling to ask his opinion about her script.
What should I say?
“Writer-nim, you’ve let your success get to your head. I think you’ll need to struggle for about three years to regain your footing.” Should I just say that?
Of course, I couldn’t say that directly… Should I just text her? “I enjoyed reading the script”? If I end it there, she should take the hint, right?
Next was Eun Jihoon.
“Ha, seriously!”
Eun Jihoon was a mid-level idol-turned-actor who had only played small supporting roles and hadn’t yet shed the label of a struggling rookie.
He had decent visuals but couldn’t showcase his full potential because of his extremely introverted personality.
‘He’s a good kid, but he had a bit of a victim complex too.’
I had taken note of Eun Jihoon and cast him in Go Eunji’s thriller drama.
I told him that if he wanted to succeed, he had to act as if he were a devil incarnate. I told him to imagine that the co-actors were not seniors or mentors but mere bugs.
I pushed the soft-spoken Eun Jihoon, who couldn’t even utter a single harsh word to others, to the edge.
[Acting is all about performance. PDs succeed through their abilities. Don’t you see it with me? I succeed, and everyone trembles in front of me.]
Desperate, Eun Jihoon followed my advice and delivered a performance as a devilish villain, breaking free from his years of obscurity.
But the real issue came afterward.
The only roles he was offered after that were serial killers. Viewers wrote hateful comments on his social media, and the harassment didn’t stop.
They said he couldn’t even eat out at restaurants anymore.
Because of this, Eun Jihoon developed depression and panic disorder.
But…
‘If you gain something, you have to endure some loss. In this industry, infamy is still a form of popularity.’
Gaining popularity always means giving something up.
His notoriety as a villain made him famous, and his fees increased tenfold. If he thought of it as being paid to take the hits, it was manageable.
“Jihoon, stop calling me. Either go see a psychiatrist or hire someone to manage your image. You’re making a lot of money now. It’s been ages since that drama ended…”
Sometimes, being blunt about reality isn’t bad. After all, actors who fail to manage themselves never last long.
But Doyun couldn’t continue his advice.
The sound of a woman sobbing on the other end of the phone sent an ominous chill through his spine.
“Jihoon… Jihoon is dead. He… hanged himself…”
The woman, who introduced herself as Eun Jihoon’s mother, wailed in grief.
“You bastard! Why didn’t you take his calls? You used him as much as you could and abandoned him when he was cornered. You killed my son! You devil!”
That very day, Jihoon had called six times. Yet Doyun hadn’t answered even once.
Because Jihoon’s strong villain image made him unnecessary for now.
“Urgh!”
A stabbing pain tore through his stomach, and nausea forced him to sprint to the bathroom. Bile and red blood poured into the toilet bowl as he retched violently.
***
“It’s gastric adenocarcinoma, one of the most aggressive forms of stomach cancer.”
“Gastric adenocarcinoma?”
“Yes. The cancer in the stomach lining has spread to the lymph nodes, liver, and pancreas. Surgery isn’t an option, and chemotherapy won’t…”
Six months after reaching the pinnacle of his career as a producer, Doyun was handed a terminal diagnosis.
Even at that moment, his phones kept ringing incessantly, but the moment news spread about his cancer diagnosis, they all went silent as if on cue.
[Stay strong! We’re praying for your recovery!]
On the day he went to pack his belongings from the office, Kwon CP accompanied him to the elevator with a sympathetic expression.
Kwon CP, who inherited Doyun’s position effortlessly, strode back into the office with a spring in his step.
[What a shame. Take good care of yourself.]
Ding. Go Eunji sent him a mobile coupon for rice porridge and left their chatroom.
To Go Eunji, Doyun was now someone she no longer needed.
“Getting a taste of my own medicine, huh? Urgh!”
Even narcotic painkillers and antiemetics only offered fleeting relief. His abdomen swelled with fluid, and his eyes turned yellow.
‘Did I fight so hard for success just for this?’
He had saved failing drama production companies and turned struggling writers into stars.
Directors, actors, staff—he thought he had maintained decent relationships with so many people. But it was all an illusion.
Not a single person genuinely mourned for the dying Doyun.
‘I should’ve cultivated at least one loyal person.’
If Eun Jihoon were alive… That kind-hearted guy would’ve forced him into a nursing home and visited him every day.
Eun Jihoon knew how to treat people with sincerity. His devotion to acting was why he couldn’t escape the shadow of villainous roles.
‘Jihoon, are you doing okay up there? It must’ve been lonely and hard. I’m sorry.’
If I’d known it would end like this…
…I wouldn’t have lived the way I did.
Forget success and everything else—I should’ve never worked with these bastards.
I had always been an angry person by nature, but suppressing it to act like a good person had taken its toll on me.
I had known. The more I pretended to be virtuous, the more I was breaking inside.
Living like that had been suffocating and painful. Maybe that’s why I got cancer.
And so, Doyun slowly withered away in his 80-pyeong penthouse, surrounded by two silent phones that no longer rang.
Or so it seemed.
—
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